Just Flaunt It

The Cage We Live In

2010-01-07T18:01:00.001-08:00

Who said that we have no similarities? At least one I've seen.

We all being controlled by the space, by fear and by time.

Fotografía en la gran dama del Este y Orienta

2009-10-11T23:19:00.000-07:00

I regretted being too camera-shy. Well-known as a wedding photography hotspot, how could I NOT work on capturing more photos? At least more than 100, maybe? The worst part of it, I only managed to stand at 2 different spots, so I had managed to shoot like what? 20? Anyway it's pure sharing of how JOYFUL of my models were at that time. No alcohol but some pulsating lucky draw moments. ASUS Netbook, my friends.

Thanks to the professional Alvin, Marilyn, Fiza and CT for staying. So this is it.

Shimmering of HOPE, perhaps the lucky draw

Very-soon-to-be Mommy and Kak Fiza

Kak Fiza and ______

There's a saying in Chines, laughing with a 40k mouth. Understand?

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. -Marcel Proust

FRIENDS Season 11

FRIENDSHIP OVERDOSE

Please call me if you would like to meet People's Magazine ~~Bachelor~~ Poser of The Year

The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind. -John A.

~ Night is a world lit by itself. ~

Me estoy divirtiendo

2009-10-03T05:44:00.000-07:00

I was texting with someone while setting my hands to upload these tiny batch of photos. People were enjoying at a misty theme park and I was busy with my fun-filled delusions. Consider I was lucky, I decided to bring the Rebel-lious one out on a after-rain Sunday night, last week. Being pretty reluctant before it happened, I was glad that I decided to set my feet on the stony (play)ground. It was the last day of their biz. Thank God.

An amateurish photographer always fears a lot. Angle. Lighting. And sometimes, Crowd. I couldn't recall how many times I've heard that their biz was not really good, but looking at the parents and kiddos who swamped the place, it told me people are always going for the last best thing. (Saving for the Last Dance).

The Queensbay Sixers (originally from Philly?)

No, the Ferris wasn't a bad one, it just moved slower, under my bad influence.

The floating Ferris wheel, that only appeared in my childhood dreams.

Silence (all these years?)

I have always thought about capturing the quietness of a theme park. Other than silence, it's still silence.

Discovering the Fun Fear

Believe it or not, this fun ride wasn't fun at all. I dropped my glasses when I was upside down, up there.

(p/s: @ Sunway Lagoon but not this little one)

Delicious lollipop out of the darkness, stunned some passers-by to drool over it.

Wonder the machine ever loses its fame?

I spent a sweating night moving the tripod and avoiding crowd disturbance. Somehow it gave me the satisfaction at last, finally getting my chance to shoot what I've been telling my friends since the first day of the fun fair arrived. A lot of thanks to my good friend 绿叶 who always be there whenever I needed her to go out with me. The good thing is I always had fun going out with her (even though the last food-searching outing ended up with me getting food poisoning :P - God's will maybe).

Visit my Flickr for better viewing pleasure.

The love I shared - Colors of Food and Light

2009-09-26T04:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks to our effort and our manager (whom will be seen in the coming up photo series) and our manager's managers, we had a quite "full and satisfied" evening at the Gurney Evergreen Laurel Hotel. Below are some of the snapshots that I took to entertain myself besides eating (not that much for me, trust me).

Glow

A little light deco at the lobby. Spacious and simply grand for a 4-star hotel.

The lounge at the other end of the lobby. Love the light-illuminated effect.

Clarity

Everything was just at the right place for me =)

Light on the evening glasses.

Delicacies

Playing with DOF on these tiny cuties =)

They said cakes are for kids =)

Ladies and Gentlemen

2 of our team greatest treasures =P

I'm SO sorry guys. I just don't want others to miss laughing at something really fun. =)

SC's daughter, Jiayi =)

Mix and Match

Diversity is strength =P

One is for Wanting More.

Two is for Together We Enjoy.

Three is for Trinity of Eat, eat, eat?

For better resolution images, please click on the photos, or visit the Flickr.

Make a change, and breakway

2009-09-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

This is to celebrate the very first batch of photos captured through the new lens. I know I am late, always.

You know what they say if you don't try it you never know how it's going to feel like. So after I was handed the toy, without any hesitation, ka-cha and Russell is going UP, trying to match the height of Komtar.

I always have the strangest taste, ferry ride next.

Every weekend it's my routine to be on the Penang Bridge, no more ferry since secondary school. A ride brought back memories.

I just love the scene in the ferry. No more ferry commuting? It doesn't look like so.

You must be wondering why it comes with the theme "Boundary". The way those old fishing boats lazing around in front of those factories in the background, it tells the strong contrast of HOW TO MAKE A LIVING.

I was crossing the railway at the Butterworth railway station. These unintentional shots has become the favorites of the day.

Of course a visit to the train station I should also serve you a portrait - the resident of the Butterworth station. Yeah, old one - the Jet Fire of this station.

Another shot from the side of his body. Since I was already there no point not shooting more if I could.

At the end of the day, the most unexpected finding is:

She insisted she is from Penang and a photo with the train from Kuala Lumpur is rather odd. Oh ya, and her name is Siew Siew. What a coincidence, I have a colleague named Siew Siew as well.

*Click on the images for a better view.

Change of Heart

2009-09-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys I have not been prolific and consistent enough to update my blog. So today here it is the consolation of bringing myself back to business.

Meet my latest obsession: Photography

Anyway, please don't expect me to upload jaw-dropped photos. I am really still in the learning process. So the very first motivation for more photography in my life, our group has won 2 of the 4 prizes from a department photo contest, with one of the photos coming from my Canon Rebel Xsi.

I shall share it here so that you know I'm really serious about this. Let's hope the fire keeps burning and the real best is yet to come.

I know this looks odd but the theme is even "odder" - Diversity.

The photo was taken on the last day before due and we were scrambling all over, sticking little pieces of papers, shooting from "rare" angle (up on a desk and shooting inside-out from a cubicle) and finally managed to hand in the submission. A big thank you to FF for the idea and all those who have contributed in the process.

So now everyone knows where I work.

The image that I thought would come out top but eventually it didn't; most probably because of the capture of a brand that could bring copyright issue to the company.

So this is it, a very small baby step to fully decorate my blog with my so-called Artistry of the Century. -ROFL-

Have a nice day and stay cool as always.

There won't be anything left

2009-08-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

I don't talk much these days. I used to.
My time, well-spent? Guess no, mostly watching Glenn Close playing games with vengeance.
Thank God, there's the little lesson I've learnt: No matter how unethical you're, if you play the right game, and help the people in need (truly), you win the world.

Love the opening theme from this show - Listen up, the humming at the beginning of the song.

Little lamb......
Smile......

原来回忆很沉重

2009-07-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

不知道这是哪来的冲动，还是本来就压抑了好久。

刚刚打了一通电话，朋友的爷爷中风了，她从新加坡赶回来照顾他。

电话接通的瞬间，不晓得是不是心理作用，感觉她的声音竟然特别沉重。

五年前爷爷中风的片段，现在又重重的压着我那颗还会跳动的心。

上个礼拜回去探望爷爷，买了淡文饼，他认得是我，慢慢的坐起来，然后和我聊了几句，然后累了，再躺下去。

每次见了他，我都会埋怨自己，为什么没常回去和他聊天。虽然每个星期都回去，但是多数的时候看到爷爷躺在床上，都不敢去打扰他。

爷爷中风的前一个星期，他还帮我开了一粒榴莲，然后和我一起吃。现在的他，吃饭时也需要帮忙。有时候看着父亲或姑姑帮他喂饭，我真的很痛心，心里头真的很希望从五年前的那一天开始，所有的事都是一场梦。

我真的真的很怀念，二十年前他用单车载我上学和回家，还有我们常常停驻的那家小杂货店，我总是拉着他的衣袖，希望他心太软而买下我想要的。有玩具枪、零食、自动笔、风筝......

或许现在的我会问，为什么人总要老死，为什么我们总是抓不住最美好的，为什么我不是那个人人都希望我当的医生，为什么我没有办法为他留住健壮的两条腿，为什么我不能？

就是因为经历了这么多的力不从心，让我了解了原来最害怕失去的，便是人生中最美好的。

要是你问我现在最想做什么，我想回家。

这不是假面的告白

2009-07-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

这是我步入工程师生涯的第四年，生活有时潦倒有时万事如意。自己在大学时期就是个懂得享受生活的书生，吃得好，住得好，打肿脸皮充胖子的情况更多的是，因为政府的资助不够花而打电话回家要钱也不出奇。踏入社会工作后，吃喝更是有过度挥霍的迹象，扣剩不多的薪水存到现在还不够付一间小公寓的头期，房里却堆满了追随潮流的玩意儿。钱财身外物，我总是安慰自己，活在当下，开心是最重要的。我硬着头皮，熬过了好多追问薪水、身家、职位的问题，一直告诉自己，视之而不见，听之而不闻吧。

今天的午餐，在粥面家吃了到味的皮蛋瘦肉粥和白滑的豆花，走到了食品部，想买点吃的回家，让父母在看戏时可以边吃边追。上个礼拜买了几包花生回家，结果自己就在电视机前吃了大半。看了看豆类的柜子上不同的包装，无意中看见了包装别致精巧的开心果。看了看价钱，好便宜，才不过几块钱，妈又特别喜欢吃，伸手就拿了两罐，打算把其中一罐送给姑姑吃。在不远处溜达了不久，又不经意的回到同一个地方，这时定神一看，原来那小罐的开心果竟然要二十多块。心里大叹一声好彩，放回了两罐吃了未必会开心的果，在附近买了两包入口的三楂饼就付钱溜了。

放工后驱车回老家的路上，突然间想起了父母，还想起了母亲每次都为我准备了等我回家就吃的晚餐，想起了疲惫不堪的父亲为我的9754洗澡。一瞬间的记忆倒流充斥了我本来已经疲累的中枢神经，眼眶不禁泛起泪光。自己开始觉得愧疚不堪，挥霍的恶习竟然让自己无法买点稍微贵的零食给母亲吃，这是第几流的孝顺女。

踏进家门，爸妈就问我想吃饭了吗，于是就盛了碗汤，我坐下来就吃那五菜一汤的晚餐。吃着的同时，爸妈不时走过来寒暄几句，脸上欢喜的谈着弟弟的升学计划和叫我多吃菜、多喝汤。看见近年来老了不少的父母嘴边流露的笑意，我突然惊觉原来让他们快乐的，是我每个礼拜踏进家门的时刻。我给他们的礼物，除了有小时候让他们骄傲，原来长大了没什么成绩的我也能够让他们老怀安慰。

简单的快乐，总是流露得最不经意。我开始相信，爸妈心里总是载着我26年里送给他们最不起眼的回忆。

A reply to a THOUGHT PROVOKING entry

2009-06-27T02:29:00.000-07:00

Ah! I didn't expect this will happen to me, a very low profile blogger in comparison with the always controversial Perez Hilton. Please expect this entry to be simple, innocent and story-telling-alike.

Reaching the QBM car park at 5.50pm, I got a strategic parking lot just outside the 5th-floor lift. After rushing to pick up my ticket at the reservation counter, spent some time at the washroom giving myself a really clear mind, I jogged into Hall 1 with some pace. (OK, the story began after this, be patient.)

Sitting at G12 was a guy. Apparently I would be sitting at G11 (left-hand side of this guy). When I approached the seat, placing my laptop heavy tortoise-shell-like bag on the floor and prepared to sit down, the guy suddenly LEANED AGAINST my direction and said: "Hi. Excuse me. (About 2 seconds of weird feeling and unexplainable curiousity set in.) Do you mind if I put my drink here? (He's pointing at the cup-holder on my right)." With a voice as polite and gentle, I managed to spill out a couple of words: " Yeahhh... Sure."

So the light dimmed out and the film started rolling, I was still in awe. What's the problem with me, huh? I managed to send a message to SS telling her about this before the first Autobot appeared in the movie and she was kind enough to advise me not to get over-excited and hug him. (This's not gonna happen since I know myself good enough to be very self-control.)

Again, I couldn't explain why this overwhelming feeling struck me and left me come up with the THOUGHT PROVOKING comment at the last entry. I might be too excited because he's well-dressed, busy dealing with his Palm before the show started, eating popcorn throughout the show, covering his mouth and watched with a little tensed expression when the Autobots were in danger, sipping the cup of coffee slowly, his politeness, he is OLD (*grin*)...... I think it's because I have already got it right prior to seeing him - When I bought the ticket online, I had told SS that this guy, the only seat sold out on the row "G", must be watching it alone as well.

So much of pre-show excitement has turned into little silly type of overrated (by me) unexpected experience. Guys and girls, don't keep speculating anymore on what I said at #5. This, in fact, is NOT as provoking as what you've thought.

NOTE: I'm going to watch again on this Wednesday - because of this little "innocent crush" I have. So, next time, don't be too busybody about what's happening beside you and pay attention to what you are watching.

Signing off with Megan "Mikaela" Fox's FHM photoshoot vid. (Rated 18SX and for guys only).

At the end of this day, one shall stand, one shall fall.

2009-06-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

My Windows Media Player is playing New Divide, my head is still spinning with the robots who could run, joke, swim, joke and even tease. It's not their fault though, the foxy lady is just too hot to resist. Oh my.

Throughout the years, I have learnt not to expect much for a sequel especially with the first one received enormous praise. After all, it's just too hard for me to get NOT excited about it. Even before the premier I have sworn to watch for the 2nd time, probably the next Wednesday when I could get cheap ticket. The last one I watched it twice, the 2nd time alone, managed to grab the last ticket of that session.

Did I mention I watched it alone again, this time?

I would say my 10 bucks has been well spent. Better than eating a set of McDonalds Value meal or KFC Snack Plate, or gulping down a Starbucks Mocha Frap (still need to top-up I know).

Words I should tell you guys before stepping in for the show, do NOT expect things that you have NOT seen before. The robots are still robots. Megan is still hot, still has her hair sweeping and sweats all over her tanned body, her lips, her over-excessive romance with Shia, and the still very ridiculous Witwicky family.

I would suggest that you watch as an entertainment and do not try to explain the movie. Talking about fascination, for me this is less impressive than the first one, even though the robots could tear the Eiffel down within a split of second.

I'm just mean, I guess. Sue me for this, and I still think the jokes in there (stupid one) ruin the movie. Anyway, Transformers is still my favourite action movie after the Iron Man. Let's see how Mr. Downey can do himself justice next summer.

Keynotes:

1) 9pm show is sold out as well as Friday night 9pm.

2) Do NOT watch a DVD please or you should screw yourself.

3) Guys please bring a glass of ice-cold water in case of excessive heat generated.

4) Girls please listen to the fast-flowing dialogues instead of staring at the subtitle.

5) It's absolutely right rated as PG13. Kiddos are allowed.

6) Girls should consider watching it alone, maybe you will have some UNEXPECTED experience. *wink wink*

路长情更长

2009-06-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

今天真的是有趣的一天。

开会开了一整天，倦容满面，风尘仆仆的赶去打球。球场上“英姿飘飘”，飘的是那些接不到的球。汗应该是流了不够半公升吧，脂肪应该也没怎么烧，又风尘仆仆的赶着回家。一踏出大礼堂就惊觉大事不妙，因为正值放学时间，门庭若市，车水马龙，塞得不可开交。在车上皱着眉头等车龙散去，却这么巧遇上老板接小孩放学。一脸孤疑，他好像是在问：你干嘛在这里，难道......？”明白他脸色的大变，我赶紧加以解释：“老板，别害怕，我没有私生子！”

到了家，放了那重到我驼背的手提电脑，又风尘仆仆的上了室友的车，赶往目的地去了。哦，原来车上除了有姑姑以外，还有一个新朋友，今天我和他才有零距离接触，平时都是闻其名不见其身。他，就是只有英文名字的GPS。实不相瞒，我猜他的中文名字应该会特别复杂，所以对他还是叫GPS就好。风尘仆仆的我们绕着很蜿蜒的山路，听着应该很会大路的GPS指点迷津，眼看离显示的目的地越来越近了，咿？奇怪了，怎么会在乔治市了？果然是所谓的老夫子肉骨茶，但旁边就看不见有我们想光顾的档口。于是，转了又转，地址换了又换，正想放弃之际，咿?怎么给我们找到了！

买了那一千零一条，坐在另一间老夫子吃肉骨茶，果然是别有一番疯味。肉吃了，茶也喝了，请问你知道我们吃了什么吗？请按此处就有揭晓。

Today, the magic number is 14

2009-06-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

This is the most anticipating match for me, and maybe for all of us, your fans around the world. When you stepped out of the tunnel and waved, I said a prayer. I believe all of us did. "Please win" is the only thing we kept in ourselves and wish you could hear it from far.

The Beginning

We love to see you making ground strokes, especially those you did to create winners, and forced errors from the opponent. Today, you didn't let us down. The start was as great. We know once you are in the lead, it's no turning back. The brief first set somehow settled everyone in the Philipe Chartier down, and I managed to gulp down a glass of tea. Vamos, Rog!

The Momentum

I had always like to throw words and phrases on my friend's faces while they were criticizing particularly the teams I love, the sportsman I admire. So many have been there, telling me on my face that you would never win at Roland Garros, even after your nemesis Rafael was out. They were presuming your days of great tennis has gone. As a fan of yours for 6 years now, however, I think the best element in you, is rise to match or exceed the expectations. Good players need a set to gear up the momentum and go on to win, top players just need a game, or maybe a point to make it. You're in that range, and it's that quality that makes you a true champion.

The End has just Begins

The history is renewed, the French Open new champion is born, another career Grand Slam winner. We don't know, for sure, how many championships you will win again. We don't even want to mount that 'beat Nadal' pressure on you. The only thing we have in all of us, your true fans, is the faith that continuously we have for several years. You have shown us the way to be a champion, graceful and gracious one.

The Emotion

For me, an over-the-top and extremely emotional fan of yours, the recent years were tough. I saw you lost the French 2 times with close fights, once so badly that I couldn't get over it after a week, surrendered your throne at the Wimbledon, and the worst one in Australia, which I broke down in tears seeing you wept on the court. After your capture of this final Grand Slam, you told the world, I could play tennis with no pressure now for the rest of my career. We all hope that the joy of this win will carry you to the next level, when winning is not just about winning, is about giving the world a man everyone remembers as a tennis icon.

Today, we celebrate with you! :)

仙粽奇缘

2009-05-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

正当我在品尝着美味的“外婆靓棕”，脑袋突然浮现了昨晚的一段“奇异旅程”。

话说我和一位“姑”级人马在楼下的碳烧面包叹着晚餐，突然间就粽仙托梦，然后两人就要演一出孝感动天千里迢迢买粽子的戏。

于是她老人家就开着车，以漂亮的转弯和直线的冲刺，兜了几圈，还是在范围不出2公里的地方！

最后皇天不负苦人心，终于让我们创出一片天，满怀壮志的朝目的地驶去。

到了指定的地带，又兜了两圈，也不见有什么白色的Van仔，打了电话问了仙人（仙人点路），确定没错后，也确定了我们很走运咯。

怀着失落又不甘心的心情，我们就回家去了。

今天早上问了问道地的槟岛人，才知道这大牌（又大粒）的5元粽，在端午节期间是要提早一个星期预定的，真是名不虚传的仙棕。

而那些无法回家的游子或是没钱买粽子的同志们，请试“外婆靓棕”。

Danny leaves.

2009-05-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

I know a competition could be somehow truly cruel when the result is revealed. Today I saw my favorite singer Danny J. Gokey voted off and misses the cut for finale.

I think we all need a big heart to accept failure, everybody has his/her own choice. I still prefer Gokey. There are people who talked about his fans base due to the passing of his wife, sympathy is what people have labeled the support. Well, to me, someone has to be really good to impress, if he doesn't have a big voice, nah, it's just pure waste of time to listen.

It's just another chapter of American Idol I see, I'm a fanatic supporter for him but after enduring so much as a Gunners' fan throughout the weeks, I could see this is a time for Danny to turn to the next page of his life.

Have faith, Danny. Come rain or shine, the world is going to be kind to you.

Thanks for a soulful and passionate season. Signing off......

为什么会有为什么

2009-05-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

为什么世界上会有好人和坏人？

没有好坏之分那有怎么让人感觉到你是好人？

为什么人们总觉得外国的月亮比较圆？

我不觉得他们的月亮比较圆，而是他们的脑袋转得比较快。

如果现在无法容忍彼此，为什么当初还要结婚？

很多人都是这样啦，结婚其实是试婚，你看看那些结了婚又在公司和人“暧昧”的就懂了。

为什么好人总是被欺负？

我相信有报应，所以不会问，要是我被欺负，不要紧，瞪着瞧！

为什么坏人无恶不做了之后，还可以一副理所当然的样子？

都说是坏人了，作恶对他们来讲都没什么，还理什么理所当然的样子？

为什么牺牲不一定获得回报？

如果每一个因果都呈现眼前，那我们就不是带罪之身了。

为什么人们可以带着面具，隐藏自我？

因为他们有自知之明，知道自己的脸很丑。

为什么绿灯是通行，红灯就必须停车？

那为什么你父亲是男人，你母亲是女人？

为什么人们总是不能跟着自己的意愿行动？

成语：身不由己。

为什么别人1天24小时刚刚好，自己的却不够用？

买过你的钟表啦。

为什么有些人天生聪明、一生幸运？

不要问别人聪明和幸运，应该自己怎么天生懒惰、怨天尤人。

为什么真理总隐藏着一些不为人知的谎言？

那应该是美丽的谎言。

为什么一些人脸皮可以那么厚？

你有量过吗？

为什么好人不一定有好报？

你怎么知道？你是好人？

为什么长越大就觉得这世界越黑暗？

因为自己的那盏灯已经越来越暗淡。

为什么用功不一定会成功？

那你为什么不试着懒惰一点，可能会成功的。

为什么一些人只说一句话就可以控制其他人，即使那只是谎言？

你又不是其他人，理这么多干嘛？

为什么一些人就算说了几百句真话也没有人会去理会？

不够说服力啦。

为什么人们总爱把一些事变得很复杂？

他们应该是会觉得，当解决一件很复杂的事情时，才会较有满足感。

为什么电影里头的女主角要结束自己的生命？

我看的电影男主角也一样看不开。

为什么一些人可以违背良心？

俗语说：把良心当狗吠。

为什么只是行动慢了点就说成了效率差？

应该是比较差。

为什么科技越来越先进，社会就越来越腐败？

文明犯罪。

为什么有些人有勇气死却没有勇气活下去？

活下去要很多年，死就只是一瞬间。

为什么这世界要有贫富之分？

人就是这样，你要做人吗？

为什么有些人可以把自己当作是神一样，任意剥夺其他人的权利？

我想你应该是时常被剥夺的那一方了，哈哈。

为什么有人的地方就会有是非？

人是万恶的根源，施主请接受残酷的事实。

为什么人们总爱把自己的快乐建在别人的痛苦身上？

快乐与否，你不是人家，又怎么能够判断？

为什么明明在暗地里已经斗得不是你死就是我活了，但在表面上还可以笑嘻嘻的？

真真假假，假假真真，看惯就算了。

为什么当初的热忱在社会磨了一磨，就情愿庸庸扰扰过一生？

人要我死我偏活，我是不会做社会“冻”梁的。

为什么一些人可以说一套做的又是另一套？

因为有两套啦，很简单。

为什么我问那么多为什么？

因为你不甘心。

因为我和你一样也曾经问很多，直到我发现原来我用来问问题的时间，已经足够其他人创造自己的一番天地。

From the great pianist

2009-04-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

你到底想怎样？

2009-04-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

亲爱的朋友，

谢谢你们的关心了。你们怎么总是喜欢乱抛垃圾呢？丢到过路的小动物就算了，还打到我可怜的孩子。你们知道吗，我前两个星期才带我的小孩去诊所，花了我整整三百大元，终于把他拖了好久的病医好了。你现在一个罐子飞出来，不打伤他也吓得他双脚发软，跪地求饶一样了。你知道我听到他呱呱的哭声时，我有多心痛吗？心如刀割啊。我真的不敢想象，以后的世界会是怎样的。打家劫舍、杀人放火吧？光天化日、天雨路滑、月黑风高- 你们都喜欢胡作非为，真是可恶。不要让我看清楚你们的脸、还有你们的名字，不然我就报警，搞到你赔汤药费给我为止，还我九七五四一个公道，哦......我的孩子，你真的好可怜。

Heart

2009-04-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

你的手总让人想到孩子的天真，不幸一群的欢呼，还有老人院里皱纹和幸慰交织的脸孔。每次的出勤，你总是用自己的真诚和汗水换来编织其他人的梦想和幸福。你说幸福不是必然，但若没有真切的行动和关心，幸福根本没有机会和你擦肩而过。我第一次在大门外看着你弹着木吉他，你我的乐谱就已经编成，等待一起坐在摇椅上看日落的那一刻降临。

我现在握在手心的，却是你走后遗留下来，你心的温度。

What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin’ to do

I know it hurts, Danny.

What is Nasi Lemak?

2009-04-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

"A dish sold in Malaysia, Brunei, Singapore and Southern Thailand, rice is soaked in coconut cream and then the mixture steamed."
'What is Nasi Lemak?'

- from Trivia show “Jeopardy"

基本上，这算是一篇征聘启事吧。
有为中华同胞将要在这个竞争激烈的饭卖市场上大展拳脚，我这个热血青年又怎能坐视不理呢？

基本上，这位同志需要的人才非常简单，我看还是帮同志打打广告吧。

人才（一）：厨师- 必须练有一身好武功，可以使出快刀斩乱麻更会受到优先考虑，因为一天可能需要包上千的nasi lemak。

人才（二）：包装师- 必须有艺术天分和富有创造力，因为一天里头的那整千包饭要称得上是别出心裁才能够吸引更多顾客上门。（别以为只用嘴巴讲，也是需要帮厨师的。）

人才（三）：会计师- 必须是理财高手，晓得如何以一变十，把垃圾变黄金，把白纸变钞票；总的来说，应该知道如何以一包十毛钱的饭卖成一块钱又没人投诉而且还要大赞好料。

人才（四）：送货员- 必须身手敏捷，骑单车快过摩多车，时间观念强，座右铭是一寸光阴一寸金，包包饭都准时送到而且可以在别人送一家的时间里送三家。

人才（五）：宣传主任：必须是金牙大状，懂得让人看到饭原始又可贵的一面，最好能够创造好像"A packet of nasi lemak a day keeps other food away"的精句。

基本上，这都不算挑剔，对吗？全都是正常人可以办到的，只是花上多点心思，少点睡眠，吃点苦头而已。最重要的是，这位同志是个人才啊，身怀绝技，而且向往悠然见南山的生活，所以才会撇下那重要的职位，来从事这门行业，就像是同志的口头禅所说的：利己利人，义不容辞！

基本上，要申请很容易，同志非常的有创作天分，到其部落格留言便可（还有第二个部落格），请注明“我要卖皇家饭”就对了。

废话连篇之走火入魔

2009-03-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

我想我是个很容易陷得很深的人，很容易投入，很容易自残的人，或许这应该是我的主题曲-情难自禁我是其实属于极度容易受伤的女人。废话连篇。

之所以说是走火入魔，是因为自从星期五回到家后，眼不停看（马不停蹄)-看书，看戏，看球。

看了三本英文书，看到右眼现在染上眼红症，我不知道眼红症是否和劳累有关系。现在我的头还有点痛，因为第三本Change of Heart还没有看完，虽然故事很精彩，但是因为我自己英文水准有待改善，一天300面算是不错了，别见怪，我是有点没有大志的了。

看了Pursuit of Happiness，觉得发掘自己的梦已经不远了，好像它正在向我招手。事关上个星期就已经在online volunteering签了两个义工合约，一个是帮助非洲一个穷苦地区（穷苦到我自己都不知道有这个地方存在）撰写关于该地区的一些人权、粮食短缺、艾滋病毒肆虐问题的有关文稿，希望有助于提升外界对这地方的居民有所注意和可以给予帮助；另外一单生意是帮助加纳地区的那些穷苦学生找电脑和文具的赞助商。后者已经有人联络上我了，希望我可以尽快为他们提供援助。其实前者是我比较重视和希望有机会被录取的，但自己有多少斤两自己知，写英文的稿子，可能还是难于胜任。为什么我觉得当义工是我所谓的梦？因为上个星期连续2天晚上我都梦见自己在那荒凉的非洲土地上，只是没看见我被犀牛和长颈鹿追而已。然后接下来我又读了The Alchemist这本书，关于梦想，和怎么知道预言的真实。一切的一切，好像命中注定，英文译为The Written，Islam又称Maktub。不要以为我进了回教，别傻了，只是从书里头学来的（书中自有黄金屋）。

我三天的悠长假期算是没有白费，又书又戏，又有球。虽然李宗伟还是输了给令人讨厌的林丹，但我也不会异常的失望，因为一次生两次熟，三次看了就不觉得糗。还好我的枪手这次是3-0胜出，让父亲有机会喊几次“进球了”来调剂他很闷的周末。

看到这里，你会不会觉得我有点走火入魔？还是觉得我怎么变得这么不知所谓，尤其是比起我在SoS里写的，好像不是很对称。其实在我之前已经有人进了魔道，但那魔也真的高上两三丈，还把有人带到柬埔寨去了。

Read to me

2009-03-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

This, is heavy. It's enough to make your heart sink.

It was about a human's greatest fear and shame.

I'm afraid of not being there, what about you?

Hanna Schmitz was shameful of her illiteracy.

Keeping the truth to herself, and Michael, sent her to prison for life.

What do you think was in Michael's mind, when Hanna turned and looked him in the eyes, when the sentence was completed?

The voices, both from young Michael (David Kross) and Michael who had then 'haunted' by Hanna for the rest of his life (Ralph Fiennes), is the soul of the movie. Hanna might have been always loves being read to, finally learned how to read, and it was the end - when the fear is no more, the life was concluded.

It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what I feel. The dead are still dead.

You didn't come for the beach.

2009-03-02T06:34:00.000-08:00

I could still remember the way you came into my life. With tears in my eyes, I turned and saw you approaching. Our eyes met. That instance changed the rest of my life. Both of us had gone through a lot, maybe that's what made us meet. Maybe, this is destiny; Maybe that's the favor from the hurricane.
Wrinkles are showing up and my hands got shaky holding that little box I had for you. Yet, after so many years, I still could smell you in the blue room, your medical book lying on the desk, the photo you took with your son, and the touch that had put everything together. From the night everything started, you lived in me.
I never thought that I had anymore to give, pushing me so far, here I am without you.

心动的痕迹

2009-02-28T04:37:00.000-08:00

这是我从自己的回忆库里找出来的，写于去年那段不堪回首的过渡期。

心动
~献给曾经心动的人
~~还有，曾经让我心动的人

如果相识是缘份，那分手是不是也是注定的呢？人与人之间的一切，好像发生得自然又简单，可是却又不竟然。。。

开始动笔前，深怕会扭曲原曲（戏）所要带出的深远意义。
但还是执著的写了。

从小就喜欢看戏。
看的戏好多，好杂。
有时候是闷了才看，有时候是看影评得好便盲目去看。
年轻的有时候，是为了唱有时候的梁咏琪而看。
父母说我是盲目，同学说我愚痴。
只有一个人和我一样，一样盲，一样痴。我想那人读到这里，应该也会心一笑。

第一次看这部戏，抱歉，我买了盗版磁碟。
看的是很模糊，有人头在摆动的版本。
那时这戏还没上大马的戏院，等不了，不好意思。
就算上了，我没办法看，那时的我还十八未到。

电影里的男女主角很青涩，不知天高地厚可能是最好的形容词。
九年前的我，不明白人为何可以如此不顾一切。
九年后吗，我重看了这部戏，心动不已，心痛更无法言喻。

可能是心中的畏惧，也可能是巧合的情节。
如果有一天，我放弃的，还有我错过的，是最能让我心动的人，结果会是怎样？
我确实没有那冲动让我驱赶懦弱，争取想要的。
或许应该这样说吧，我过于理智。
感情是不可以斗量的，更不知它的动力会在刹那间把你推向悬崖。
爱因斯坦对战贝多芬，根本就是不对称的较量。
可能我是爱因斯坦，无法了解贝多芬这难以捉摸的对手。

如果你不明白不情愿又不得已放手的感觉是怎样，让我告诉你：它让你午夜梦回都出现同一情节，你被遗弃在沙滩上，喊破喉咙，却没人施予援手。

人都说年少轻狂时的爱情是豁出去的，好多时候给的是110%。
这让我摸不着头脑，我是个年过20又很理智的人，为什么每一次，我都把自己的感情存款放进去，还会借贷款，欠得自己满身债。
到最后，眼泪流干，感情掏空，我就是那样坐在镜子前看着自己哭肿的双眼。
过去真的可以让它过去吗？
我们无法忘记一起的经历，更无法磨灭曾经的欢笑和泪水。
尤其是泪水，它让人对它爱不释手，经常回来光顾你细心经营的脆弱心灵。

闭上双眼，我还可以看见熟悉的脸孔，还有曾经让我悸动的双手。

有多久没见你
以为你在那里
原来就住在我的心底
陪伴着我的呼吸
有多远的距离
以为闻不到你的气息
谁知道你背影这么长
回头就看到你
过去让它过去
来不及
从头喜欢你
白云缠绕着蓝天
如果
不能够永远都在一起
也至少给我们
怀念的勇气
拥抱的权利
好让你明白
我心动的痕迹总是想再见你
还试着打探你的消息
原来
你就住在我的身体
守护我的回忆

如果这歌是我的心声，我想失去你，便是留给自己最后的回忆。

其实你不懂我的心

2009-02-25T16:24:00.000-08:00

在我开始前，我要谢谢Hong Lee和我的室友给我这个机会！

1）我是个“有样学样”的小朋友，正所谓monkey sees monkey learns，我时常怀疑自己很多的兴趣是耳濡目染之下培养出来的。
2）我曾经承诺（自己）要在年届三十之前考取博士学位，看来这又是另一个泡影了。
3）我不修边幅得有点让人不敢恭维，房间有点像乱葬岗，桌上堆满书、DVD、钥匙堆、散钱等等，头发有点像一堆草，穿着睡衣到处跑。
4）我宜静宜动，但最近通常都是处于静态修养期，因为老化期提前找上门，骨骼疏松，不宜像脱兔般灵活。
5）我深信姜是老的辣，都喜欢老得很man的男人，可能是自己过度渴望长大，造成妄想症，觉得年龄相等于魅力。
6）我常说自己的寂寞抵抗力很高，但却时常很懊恼朋友越来越少，一个人吃饭很可怜，一个人看戏很悲哀。
7）我很喜欢看电影，喜欢看具争议性的，像Milk；笑剧、非写实或天马行空的我也不会嫌多。
8）音乐是调剂品，是生活的动力，是创作灵感的发源体，没有音乐我想我不能活。
9）我开车很慢，因为我怕死，又时常幻想驾得快会有无妄之灾，如车轮脱落，刹车器失灵。
10)我有妄想症，成天幻想自己可以成为沿着梦想道路走下去的旅记，写下每一个足迹的故事。
11）最近热爱拍照，拿着自己所拍的照片，洋洋得意，总是觉得别人在自己的镜头下很自然。
12）有时候花钱没有三思，时常因为发现签卡数额过高而把自己吓了一跳，然后悔意就开始发酵。
13）我超喜欢运动，但只是“观看”，而不是参与，总觉得自己笨手笨脚，球往东我就会往西。
14）我有个美好的家庭，虽然爸爸爱讲道理，妈妈爱唠叨，弟弟不多话。
15）自己其实有时候很懒惰，希望不需要工作便有钱从天上掉下来，所以有成为坐在家爬格子赚钱的作家这个不切实际的梦想。
16）自己的情绪容易受波动，一时亢奋，一时低落，可能是家里风水不好，室友好像有类似的怪病。
17）以前喜欢看痞子蔡，觉得他的文字尖酸刻薄得来很有让人闻之起舞的魅力。
18）希望有朝一日可以买辆迷你Cooper，让自己成为小巧玲珑的代言人。
19）酒精对我来说是可以启发灵感的，庆幸自己并没有对毒品可以带来的境界有所期待。
20）觉得自己的工作无聊又刻板，黑白银幕总是在面前闪呀闪，数字总是追着我来打，救命！
21）我总是记性很好，十几年前发生的事好想昨天的故事，就连别人在睡醒后总忘记的噩梦，我也会记得那细节。
22）我总觉得好的缘分可遇不可求，所以总是让很多机会化为乌有。
23）总是觉得自己有文艺气息，写的字，唱的歌，就连自己的部落格都文艺得有点不知所谓- 冷漠与热情之间！
24）我讨厌人家说我闲着没事做，尤其是那些有一小撮的芝麻绿豆工作的，最好少来跟我说他们忙，说我闲空！
25）我觉得写作可以让我发泄心中的闷气，锻炼文笔，开拓视野，结交朋友，数之不尽的好处，就像我现在一样，一边写，一边觉得你会跟着读到这里实在非常难得！

Should I jump?

2009-02-23T21:16:00.000-08:00

My fingers are freezing, with my cough getting terribly annoying. I have started coughing the minute I stepped into my cubicle, lost my appetite of having my routine-8 breakfast with my peers, skipping lunch as well. I bet those sitting nearby, especially folks who had meetings on the phone might have cursed me. (or maybe they would pray for me?)

Sometimes even by sitting here doesn't mean that I have NOTHING to do, you know? This is for those who always dropped by to say "Hello" and "You look so free?!". I felt real irritated for a week or so, and soon I lost my patience and adamancy to even be bothered. I hate to hate people, it consumes some energy. I have had enough today, receiving some tasks and to be completed by end of today, by just SITTING here. I wanna get out from here, I hear myself yelling.

So I am alone at my cubicle as cold as a malfunction fridge. Just hope someone could rescue me. Kelly Clarkson maybe?

I can tell,
I can tell,
How much you hate this.
Deep down inside,
You know its killing me.
I can call, wish you well,
And try to change this.
But nothing I can say,
Would change anything.
Where were my senses?
I left them all behind.
Why did I turn away?
I wish I could save you.
I wish I could say to you,
Im not going nowhere.
I wish I could say to you,
Its gonna be alright.
I didnt mean,
Didnt mean,
To leave you stranded.
Went away cause I,
Didnt want to face the truth.
Reaching out,
Reach for me,
Empty handed.
You dont know if I care.
Youre trying to find the proof.
There were times Id wonder,
Could I have eased your pain?
Why did I turn away?
We can pretend nothings changed.
Pretend its all the same.
And there will be no pain,
Tonight.
Its gonna be alright.

Save you - Kelly C.

Hello, and this is 5 in the morning.

2009-02-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down? Yes.
Do you ever feel out of place? Yes.
Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you.
Do you ever wanna run away? Yes.
Do you lock yourself in your room? Yes.
With the radio on turned up so loud, that no one hears you screaming.

At this time of the day I should be sleeping soundly in my bed.
When people are supposed to be home, having lovely dinners with family after work, I was still toiling in the lab, moving my fingers, scratching my head to finish up my lengthy and tedious jobs.
I need a break from my life! Gimme a break.

Message In a Bottle

2009-02-06T06:47:00.000-08:00

Dear ______ ,

It takes me a lot of courage to write you a letter. I don't even have a good memory how you look like now, as I was too scared to look at your picture, the pictures that we took together.

That was a good summer, isn't it? Stuffy in the desert and chilly up north. I spent the 90 days of my life, doing the best that I like, and appreciating what we've gone through together. I confided in you, I thought you had the best elements that could rock my world to pieces.

Yet, how cruel that reality is. If it's meant for you, it's gonna be yours no matter what. Even those flowers grew well in the glass house, the storm came by and ripped off the sanctuary. Those petals on the ground signaled the start of snow in August.

There was time that I cried out loud in the dark. Sometimes I teared without knowing when I could rest my blurry eyes, my chaotic mind. Time and time again I dipped myself in total melancholy.

I wish you could read this? As I am here to tell you that the rainbow somehow appeared when I thought all hope was lost. Thanks to my friends, they dragged me out of sorrows whenever I fell, and they told me how faith could make myself a different person.

Hope this eventually reach you. Thanks for the love you have shared. It had enriched my life in a way that I could look back and be grateful of having you.

Love,

______ .

Oh I wish I am sophisticated

2009-01-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Years ago Hugh "House" Laurie had a great song. This is him being very sophisticated, at his best.

I wear sophisticated clothes
I say sophisticated things
Everything about me says
I'm a sophistication king

But when I'm with you
Can't seem to find my cool
Yeah, when I'm with you
I just site there and drool

I got sophisticated hands
I got sophisticated feet
A sophisticated car
Parked on sophistication street

But when I'm with you
Can't seem to find my cool
Yeah, when I'm with you
I'm just a dribbling fool

When you look at me and you start to flirt
I have to wipe the dribble off the front of my shirt

When you ask me what's on my mind
All I can think to answer is... "fluh-uh"

I eat sophisticated food
I breathe sophisticated air
I run a sophisticated comb
Through my sophisticated hair

But when I'm with you
Can't seem to find my cool
Yeah, when I'm with you
I'm just a dribbling... fool

I'm thinking he was the one wrote this piece of crap which sounds "crappily" funny.

Stupid is as stupid does

2009-01-28T02:59:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday night, after having the lovely 'steamboat' dinner with my fellow colleagues, I bought myself some DVDs (please don't ask me where I bought those from) to further motivate me to get through the predictable hectic week (the nightmare WW04 as I have mentioned in SoS). In the pile of DVDs I have got, Forrest Gump laid there untouched until today. Thanks to "the others" such as Nancy Botwin, Greg House and Liz Lemon who couldn't show up because of that bitchy (*slap slap*) DVD player (or maybe the DVDs). Gump, at the other end, is a good boy.

I couldn't recall the last time I watched this. Most probably it's just once and that might be more than 10 years ago. (I checked out the release date of this movie, it was 1994). No wonder I couldn't recollect the emotion, the tears, the brilliance. Gratified, I think Forrest Gump is like a genius at work. Director Robert Zemeckis, crafted the character of Forrest as simple as he is, led the audience walk down the memory lane of his. Maybe Mrs. Gump is a real genius (or maybe should I say a real good mum). If it has not been her, Forrest Gump will be seriously heavy (character). Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. At IQ of 75, he told us to be simple and go for it if you want to know what you eventually have.

This is a show, we should watch with our mind relax and let it cure our complicated thoughts. Shouldn't life be easy? It's well-illustrated in the friendship with Bubba, the love he cultivated with Jenny, and the respect he had for Lt. Dan Taylor.

With Bubba
Bubba:My given name is Benjamin Buford Blue, but people call me Bubba. Just like one of them ol' redneck boys. Can you believe that?
Forrest:My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.
With Jenny
Jenny:Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
Forrest:Who I'm gonna be?
Jenny:Yeah.
Forrest:Aren't I going to be me?
With Lt. Dan
Dan:Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest:I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.
I wish I could be so simple, as pure as him. I wish......
So, after this when I return from vacation, please expect me to be very "gumpy".
Please don't be "grumpy" if you see I wear dirty shoes like this......
P/S: I love Robin Wright (as Robin Wright Penn, was then Sean Penn's wife). She's just a lovely figure to watch just like her being in Message in a Bottle. I love Gary Sinise (*grin*). Even he was a handicap, he was fantastic.

Moment of Truth

2009-01-24T23:41:00.000-08:00

Seconds after witnessing Roger Federer come back from a 0-2 deficit and win against Tomas Berdych, I am truly gratified that I live in such a golden era of his. 6 years ago I saw Tim Henman, the English hero completely fell to his knees saluting the greatness of this man. From there he emerged as the most respectable world #1 since Pete Sampras. It was last year when he threw away his throne being at the peak of world tennis as the young lion Rafael came and shattered his monopoly.
Even though he is no longer the world #1, his opponents still fumbled whenever they heard of the draw against him. This afternoon, he showed me what a champion is made of, the solidity of mental and physical strength. I salute him of still believing miracle could shine, again and again he tested his Czech opponent and finally he got the breakthrough at Game #7 Set #3. Since then he never look back and blew away the 23-year-old who had lost to him for 7 straight times before. It's a 5-game and 3.5-hour tennis match.
At the age of 28, he pocketed 13th Grand Slam title, 1 short of Pete Sampras's 14. The only Grand Slam that eludes him is the Roland Garros's. He lost to the Spanish Lion thrice (or 4 times I couldn't recall) and last year he failed to make the history of 6 straight Wimbledon title. No matter how people had said Roger will not be able to win another Grand Slam, couldn't match the power of Rafael Nadal on soft ground, or 2008 is the year where we saw his light faded, I still believe in him and he's still my all-time favourite tennis player.

Federer reacts after winning his 5th Wimbledon title.

I would like to see more of his impressive ground strokes, his sharp aces, his forehand cross-court and backhand down-the-line, his remarkable defensive overhead lops, and his sportsmanship. My dream is to watch him at one of the Grand Slams.. I really love to..

挥别。展望

2009-01-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

首先，我要感谢那些关心我的人。谢谢你们多天以来的劳累，辛苦了。为了不枉费你们的心机和那极度好奇的好奇心，我要在这里向大家宣布，我非常侥幸，十分荣幸，万分庆幸没有被殃及，我的饭碗虽然是木做的，但还好现在是“水浸眼眉”，它还能像椰壳一样，浮在水面。我知道椰壳是不切实际的，因为一个大浪，自然就会船翻人溺毙。
我真的不想破口大骂，或者埋怨大家好事，因为我知道我真的是有一群关心我的朋友。然而，我真的希望大家都是衷心的慰问，而不是问完一个问题后就扮个鬼脸，或者还没了解一切就先问“你到底以后会有什么打算”。我的信箱最近被人轰炸，问问题之余还互相揣测。例：你几时搬到半岛？
我现在很庆幸我不是被牵连的人，但需要承认的是经济真的陷得很深，如果有一天我被辞退了，我也没有怨言，因为真的是时不予我，或者是我的表现差劲，留着我也没有意思了。还有，要是人老了无法跟得上时代的步伐而被淘汰，这是难免的。如果你是个有思想的人，应该先有警惕，然后再反省自己是不是块值得琢磨的玉器。
2008开始得很美丽，结束得很不景气，是时候再思索一下，自己的价值，准备打一场实在的硬仗。

Alec is the man!

2009-01-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

I would think a single woman's biggest worry would be choking to death alone in her apartment.

You nailed it, Jack Donaghy!

**********************************************************

Grab yourself some air at 30 Rock every night after a day of 16-hour LABOUR!

Here comes the change, today

2009-01-20T07:31:00.000-08:00

Washington D.C. - High 31F Low 19F

The excited crowd are waiting......
to see this man making history.
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Ain't feel better

2009-01-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

When our car passed by Northam Tower and Leona sang It's been the longest winter without you, the immortal nostalgia came back to possess me.
All the good old days didn't take place here but it stalked me wherever I went.
Sometimes I feel helpless.
Just like tonight. Right now.
The wind slashed my face and my heart started to weep.
The human heart.

原来，我的懦弱不曾离开。
我害怕失去，因为拥有时的不实际、短暂和歉疚。
最痛的原来是，放手后伪装的坚强。

It's gonna hurt when it heals too......

Bring me a cup of Aztec Coffee please......

My occupation is......

2009-01-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

making myself occupy.
making myself occupy with books.
making myself occupy with a lot of books.
making myself occupy with a lot of books when I am "supposed" to be free. Soon I am gonna spend another couple hundreds for The Soloist and A Beautiful Mind. Gosh but I have to wait for 4 to 6 weeks after pre-order.

It's OK. I don't bet during CNY. Chinese are hilarious, no books (Shu - lose) allowed.

And I say, those were the days......

2009-01-14T21:10:00.000-08:00

Glad that this human heart changed.
I remember the time when "today is just like yesterday".

Cause today
you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life
Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain

Do I have to look back now?
Sometimes, yes. That just proves that I'm human.
Finally the bleeding stopped and rejoicing is like a rainbow after the storm.

Secondhand Serenade - Like A Knife

我很简单

2009-01-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

拜6的早上，在公司，自己的座位，电脑前，突然很想有一个简简单单的自己。
如果我可以那么踏实，那有多好？
为什么我就不可以好像其他人一样，满足于现状？
已经有整整半年没睡好了，问题还没解决，人就天天衰老，我看等到有一天，人老珠黄，我的烦恼还在。
突然间，很想浸在浴缸里。
这，让我想起这首简单的歌。
简单的笑，简单的乐器，简单的伴奏，还有简单的自由。

我坐在椅子上看日出复活
我坐在夕阳里看城市的衰弱
我摘下一片叶子让它代替我
观察离开后的变化
曾经狂奔舞蹈贪婪的说话
随着冷的湿的心腐化
带不走的丢不掉的让大雨侵蚀吧
让他推向我在边界奋不顾身挣扎
如果有一个怀抱勇敢不计代价
别让我飞将我温柔豢养
我坐在椅子上看日出复活
我坐在夕阳里看城市的衰弱
我摘下一片叶子让它代替我
观察离开后的变化
曾经狂奔舞蹈贪婪的说话
随着冷的湿的心腐化
带不走的留不下的我全都交付他
让他捧着我在手掌自由自在挥洒
如果有一个世界浑浊的不像话
原谅我飞曾经眷恋太阳
带不走的丢不掉的让大雨侵蚀吧
让它推向我在边界奋不顾身挣扎
如果有一个世界浑浊的不像话
我会疯狂的爱上
带不走的留不下的我全都交付他
让他捧着我在手掌自由自在挥洒
如果有一个怀抱勇敢不计代价
别让我飞将我温柔豢养
原谅我飞曾经眷恋太阳
原谅我飞曾经眷恋太阳

Extraordinary Circumstances

2009-01-08T06:45:00.000-08:00

我本人不明白为什么会有这样的标题 - 这是套用电影奥迪利亚(Australia)里的字句。
今天放工回家的路上，发现天比平时更黑，路比平时更暗。
突然，眼泪也要夺眶而出，不知道是因为眼睛长期对着那黑白的SEM，还是真的痛得很想哭。
好多人都说，船到桥头自然直，马儿死了大不了就下来走走。
我的问题却复杂得多，船因为大浪还没到船头就已经翻覆，马死了还要把它的病传给我。
昨天还活在天堂，今天一早醒来就已经活在地狱。
我曾经一度以为自己是一块玉，但看样子现在比较像路边的一粒小石子。
我只是想大发牢骚，不是患上了忧郁症，别担心。
但我怕那是迟早的事，请大家双手合十为我祈祷。
Sam Roberts 唱的歌 - 死胡同（dead end)。
And I don't sing songs anymore
I don't feel young anymore
And it's hard to conceal
That these tears that I cry are for real
Anymore

Greatest Movies of All Time

2008-12-31T17:32:00.000-08:00

After all, I think I'm bored, and a little pathetic to blog in the morning of 1st Jan. *Save the crap*

Actually this should be up last night, before 2009. My connection was really bad and I turned to watch Emmy on TV instead.

Let's see how many movies you have watched that really make it into the top 50. (From the Empire Magazine)

1. The Godfather (Francis Ford Coppola, 1972)
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (Steven Spielberg, 1981)
3. Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kershner,1980)
4. Shawsank Redemption (Frank Darabont, 1994)
5. Jaws (Steven Spielberg, 1975)
6. GoodFellas (Martin Scorsese, 1990)
7. Apocalypse Now (Francis Ford Coppola, 1979)
8. Singin’ in the Rain (Stanley Donen, Gene Kelly, 1952)
9. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)
10. Fight Club (David Fincher, 1999)
11. Raging Bull (Martin Scorsese, 1980)
12. The Apartment (Billy Wilder, 1960)
13. Chinatown (Roman Polanski, 1974)
14. Once Upon A Time In The West (Sergio Leone, 1968)
15. The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan, 2007)
16. 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968)
17. Taxi Driver (Martin Scorsese, 1976)
18. Casablanca (Michael Curtiz)
19. The Godfather Part II (Francis Ford Coppola, 1974)
20. Blade Runner (Ridley Scott, 1982)
21. The Third Man (Carol Reed, 1949)
22. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (George Lucas, 1977)
23. Back to the Future (Robert Zemeckis, 1985)
24. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Peter Jackson, 2001)
25. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (Sergio Leone, 1967)
26. Dr. Strangelove (Stanley Kubrick, 1964)
27. Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder, 1959)
28. Citizen Kane (Orson Welles, 1941)
29. Die Hard (John McTiernan 1988)
30. Aliens (James Cameron, 1986)
31. Gone with The Wind (Victor Fleming, George Cukor, Sam Wood, 1939)
32. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (George Roy Hill, 1969)
33. Alien (Ridley Scott, 1979)
34. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Peter Jackson, 2003)
35. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (James Cameron, 1991)
36. Andrei Rublev (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1969)
37. A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick, 1971)
38. Heat (Michael Mann, 1995)
39. The Matrix (The Wachowski Brothers, 1999)
40. Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock, 1958)
41. The 400 Blows (Truffaut, 1959)
42. Kind Hearts And Coronets (Robert Hamer, 1949)
43. The Big Lebowski (The Coen Brothers, 1998)
44. Schindler’s List (Steven Spielberg, 1993)
45. Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960)
46. On The Waterfront (Elia Kazan 1954)
47. E.T. (Steven Spielberg, 1982)
48. This Is Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner, 1984)
49. Evil Dead 2 (Sam Raimi, 1987)
50. Seven Samurai (Akira Kurosawa, 1954)

My all time favourite is one of the Top 4. Not bad....

Souvenir from Shane

2008-12-30T07:56:00.000-08:00

To avoid being cursed by my friends, I tried NOT to tag anybody here.
If you're up for it you could try to complete it in your blog i will drop by to do some review. (e.g. those ppl who are too bored and with nothing to do after dinner. *wink wink*)

1) Was 2008 a good year for you?
-I'd say so-so, if you know so-so means OK-OK. Normal life but chaotic at the end of the year.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
-Las Vegas - down the Strip. (Funny huh, for most of the ppl they don't think that's fun, too tired for the legs)

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
-Got to know i might lose my job if i fight for my dream?

4) Where were you when 2008 began?
-At home, just came back from the States, and my house got a black-out on that same day! Grrr..

5) Who were you with?
-Family

6) Where will you be when 2008 ends?
-Home again

7)Who will you be with?
-Family again. I am a family person.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008?
-Trying not to but I have to.

9) Do you have a new year’s resolution for 2009?
-Trying not to tell anybody.

10) Did you fall in love in 2008?
-Yes, I did.. It's a repeat from the previous one.

11) If so with who?
-Sorry, this is a secret. If i tell you, you will be 6 feet under.

12) If yes, do they know?
-Of course.

13) What was the stupidest thing you did this year?
-Ermm... still up for jogging even I sprained my ankle?

14) What was your favorite month of 2008?
-July.

15) How many concerts did you see in 2008?
-I think one. Was that Joey Yung's? I can't recall. Maybe it was last year.

16) Did you have a favorite concert in 2008?
-No choice :S

17) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2008?
-Heck, yes. Too much.

18) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2008?
-Vicodin as painkillers? I did for my ankles.

19) How many people did you sleep with in 2008?
-More than 5. In US by itself I already slept with 3 or 4 at least. For different road trips.

20) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2008?
-"I don't know how could this happen??!!"

21) Did you treat somebody badly in 2008?
-I think my parents. Sigh.. sorry Mom and Dad.

22) Did somebody treat you badly in 2008?
-Yes. A few.

23) How much money did you spend in 2008?
-2x what I had spent in 07.

24) What was your proudest moment of 2008?
-When someone told me "We actually appreciate you and your talent"

25) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2008 and change something what?
-I won't choose to travel in summer 08 to the US. maybe 3 months earlier.

26) What are your plans for 2009?
-This is again, a repeat:S Well, i want to make myself tougher up against the enemies, fight them off with my brain, pay back to the society and perhaps wait for the right moment to take off! (Don't think too much I'm not a daring person to do cliff diving or b-jumping.)

Shane says goodbye to 2008

2008-12-29T23:57:00.000-08:00

Before the year ends, I would like to tag Shu Khan, Anj and Anthony S. Have fun pal!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?:
-I bought a 360.
-Lied to myself more often than being honest to myself.

2. 2008’s Goals:
-get promoted? (Dang! Thanks to the chaotic situation to end this year!)
-travel to the States (done, but in a way that i tried not to repeat it)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
-Agnes,Mei Fen and a lot that i had not heard of.

4. Did anyone close to you die?:
-No, and that's a good news.

5. What countries did you visit?:
-Phuket(Thailand), the USA and Singapore.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?:
-A peaceful life,REAL contribution to society

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
-11th of August - the day i left LA. also the day i came back without knowing i will have the least chance to go back.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
-recognized by ppl who i respect a lot.

9. What was your biggest failure?:
-as usual, emotional dependency.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
-Sprained my legs twice,last week down with food poisoning

11. What was the best thing you bought?:
-My XBOX 360.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?:
-My mentor and counterpart who stand by me. My friends (too many) who were there to listen and help when i was terribly down.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?:
-Those who I trusted and then lost creditability.

14. Where did most of your money go?:
-Online shopping, gaming and food and DRESSES!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
-My blog for UNICEF and my new boy (coming end of this year or early next year).

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?:
-"Better in Time" Leona Lewis, "Lover in Japan" Coldplay, "Leave out all the rest" Linkin Park

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i) happier or sadder?: sadder
ii) thinner or fatter?: thinner
iii) richer or poorer?: poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?:
-Laughing, Traveling, Contributing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?:
-Crying, wasting the time daydreaming,

20. How did you spend Christmas?:
-With parents and my medicine pot

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?:
-Yes

23. How many one-night stands?:
-Oh... zero. (This is tough. lol)

24. What were your favorite TV programs?:
-House, Weeds, CSI LV

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?:
-Yes some of those I nvr expect I would.

26. What was the best book you read?:
-The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
-Alicia Keys

28. What did you want and get?:
-Write more.

29. What did you want and not get?:
-Long list...

30. What was your favorite film of this year?:
-Iron man the #1.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
-I cant recall. haha. 25.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
-Acknowledged by the ppl who supposed to understand and know what I am doing.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?:
-Spend at the last moment to get the best piece.

34. What kept you sane?:
-Shawshank Redemption? music, parents and my friends

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
-Robert Downey Jr, Hugh Laurie and Roger Federer.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?:
-To me they are NOT real hence I care too little.

37. Who did you miss?:
-People who I couldn't see at work?

38. Who was the best new person you met?:
-Another tough question - I have met a lot that made my days better.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
-Trust the right person. Don't get involve in something that will hurt yourself (suicidal). Again, I believe Hard works will pay off.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Numb" - Linkin Park

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
Is be more like me
and be less like you

Right here waiting

2008-12-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

Nah.. this is not a Richard Marx's oldies thread.

I have been waiting for the movie.
The story about a journalist and an "abandoned" yet talented "soloist".
Jamie Foxx is predicted to get his second academy award for the role in this movie? (Emm.. what about Mr. Downey? Sorry, I am being skeptical.)
*Foxx played the musician with schizophrenia who sleeps on the street.
2 men who in real life possess extraordinary charisma.

This ain't no superhero-Stark Ironman or gangsta-sex-bullets Miami Vice.
This is a true story, that we should spend a few bucks to watch in the theatre.

To celebrate the joy of the awakening.

The meaning of being LONELY

2008-12-24T22:58:00.000-08:00

I had become a routine reader (I'm a routine if I'm free usually) for a friend's blog recently. He has been continuously waking up my sleeping soul about the fact that I'm aging.

Every time kids beside us talked about Naruto; we asked for Thunder Cats.
Every time teens around us wanted Twilight; we asked for the Ghost.
Every time Jonas Brothers top the billboard; we asked where're the Backstreet Boys.

Those were the days.
It's the reality that when a stone hit the water it sinks - we aged. Those were the evenings when Karaoke, VCD, DVD or Youtube were not popular and we need to wait for RIM chart to watch their MV's. Of course at that time Backstreet Boys topped the chart almost every week. They had sold over 100 millions album worldwide, the best selling boy band of all time.

Those were the days.
When Backstreet Boys were still "Boys". They are obviously "Men" now; I didn't know how many kids each of them has, or how many times they have had divorced. Still, I think my childhood bad-guy-hero has not changed - the tatoos on his forearms are obvious, the vocal and the facial hair that a lot of people think are ugly but I said that's adorable.

It has been 15 years huh. 15 great years.
We entered primary school and left secondary schools. We watched Die Hard, Speed, Matrix and then the LOTR trilogy. Head dug deep in books - just to graduate and get accepted into a multi-national company, in order to work and paid like a slave. It's remarkable, this number "15" gives us something to cherish about, when we are at our age. Those songs from the back street had actually recorded how they had gone from good to glorious, then bad and later worse. From 5-a-team to 4 now, I have no interests to look for the reason why Kevin had gone missing from the team. How many boybands in this golden era could survive without changing a single team member? Even the Scorpions and Gun N Roses, who have the one and only Axl Rose left as the "original" frontman of the band. Nobody even asks where the N'Sync are, or the Boyzone (yep, they had made a come back, singing It's unbelievably hard to love you but I love you anyway).

Location: O2 Arena, London

Nick had become a plum and fat-azz man and Brian remains cool and singing most of the time, AJ did all the talking. (I would like to advise them not to DANCE though, as those steps are WAY off the "hip-and-fast" trend now.) Those are the familiar songs we listened to during our "golden era". The arena was packed with the capacity of 20,000 singing their songs as loud as it could break the roof of the dome.

Strange it is, that after I was done with the concert on this X'mas morning, I have planned to spend some bucks to catch their concert in America, if they ever sing in Phoenix, or Las Vegas again, and that's if I ever go back again.

Maybe, deep inside, I think I'm just old enough, to taste the once-sweet and now-bitter old melody. They might not be as popular, as rock, as punk.
But they are who they are.

When Larry meets Ally

2008-12-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

I know this sounds absurb. Being a Chinese-literate and English-not-so-good blogger, I had braced myself to pen this down. The one and only reason is I am drunk. Yes, it's alcohol, and it's after my friend's wedding dinner. Most probably I'm very excited as the Wedding Dinner Saga (non-stop wedding dinners (6) since October and most of them I need to become the 'ji mui' for my girl-friends) has finally come to an end. So I ended it with a high note - deng!

With the red wine effects still with me forcing me to drive with 2 floating feet, I reached home and turned on Bob's. (Note: Bob is Robert Downey jr. - my current imaginary lover when I was extremely painful and down with "jobless" syndrome.)

Larry is really good.
*What did I say? Did I say "Larry"?
Yes, I did. Larry Paul in Ally McBeal, which RDj acted as a singer. (maybe singing is his part-time job at the pub, which also featured Vonda Sheppard).
"Excuse me!! What maybe??"
Oh yeah, I didn't watch Ally McBeal before. At least, maybe when I watched, I didn't know who the hell is RDj or Larry. Maybe I am too young to understand, or being passionate about a man like him. (RDj sings "Man Like Me" as well).

Guys, would you be able to call upon Sting to sing/duet with you on your girlfriend's birthday?
Mmmm... Yeah, I know this sounds kind of unrealistic and will make you feel that I'm still drunk.
For God's sake, I still manage to memorize and hum the song without missing out a word - this is to prove you wrong.
Cynthia and I have been real fans of him. She is better - admired him since high school.
We both chatted online that boring Saturday night and we both surprised as both drool over the matured and successfully-come-back-from-deep-shit actor.

That windy night, with me lying in bed, iPod playing Every Breath You Take, I fell asleep thinking about the man who had conquered the world of Ally as Larry. He did conquer my heart - by coming back strong. This is what I exactly need now, no?

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Ill be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Ill be watching you
Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you
Since youve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but its you I cant replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby, please...
Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every breath you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you
Every move you make
Every step you take
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you...

So here I leave you with Downey singing Every Breath You Take with Sting

NFS: Need for Speed

2008-12-20T22:24:00.000-08:00

柔佛

我第一次驾着9754在路上漫步，已经是6年前的事了。
那时爸在我身边，车子驶出大路不到500米就跪在第一个红绿灯前。
庆幸那时车辆还不多，还容许我在同一个地点死火3、4次。
引擎启动后，走了又不到500米，爸就叫我停在一边，他很气馁的接过了驾驶盘。
于是他载着我，带9754去兜兜风，逛的是大学里如蛇一般蜿蜒的山路。
他临走前，神色凝重的吩咐我：要是没信心，请你不要自己驾上山，要是害怕就请朋友代劳吧。
就是这一句用心良苦的话，我真的交朋友代劳我驾了自己的车整整几个月。
这就是大学时候的我，怕车祸，怕死火。
苦命的9754, 有一次还因为我眼袋倒反盖而撞了一驾停在路边动也不动的摩多车，搞到自己的门牙（bumper）脱落。
新山人驾车，可谓是享誉全马，技术高超，数一数二。
我那种三分一桶水的驾车技术，陪我走过了4年的大学生涯。

槟城

Pulau Pinang 人驾车也不遑多让，驾车技术“狼”度实在是令人闻知丧胆。
吃你白线时，他会慢条斯理和标准无误的走在白线上，好像杂技团走钢索，一点都不没怯场。
3条线的roundabout，他们会把车驾得像只有一条线，随意把车挤过来，吓得你冒一身冷汗。
有些人却是出奇的不以为然，车可以慢得连单车都可以超越他们，好像是沿途观光。
最惹人厌的就是那些摩多车，好像只有两个轮子的交通工具被人撞了不会翻，被车碾不会扁，东摇西摆的，很明显的是活得不耐烦。明明有自己的电单车道，却偏偏“吃”进来，还要车子闪它。
每天早上出门前，心情都是好得可以唱歌的；但一旦车子驾出了公路，满口唾骂的话就如开水喉般血流不止，搞得到了公司时的心情已经是糟透了，吃燕窝都补不回了。

我并不是个满嘴脏话的人，更不像愤世疾俗，但至少我知道“规矩”是什么。
吉隆坡、槟城的塞车那么严重，是因为“人"的惰性，懒惰排队，懒惰守规矩，懒惰把“循规蹈矩”编入自己的字典里头，一切都是“懒”字，还有那超级无敌、一切罪恶的根源-自私。
我都不想像那老掉牙的阿嬷一样，一路弹，一直骂，浪费自己无敌的青春岁月和水源（口水），但实在是对这些人，我真的无能为力了，我只好发泄，再发泄，一再发泄。

你知道我的恐怖了吧？请不要在我车前面犯规，我可能把你撞下沟渠，或驾车追你9条街。

冷热相对论

2008-12-17T16:31:00.000-08:00

我知道有人一定会弹我了（可能会用AK47或M16扫射我），因为我又有新的部落格）。
请原谅我。
我希望大家能够放下之前对我的成见（写来写去都是离不开那些牢骚和酷似爱情专家的陈腔滥调），给点时间我反省，给点时间我沉淀，或许......

在这非常“忙碌”的工作时段，我发现那些部落格愈趋普遍，只要会上网和打几个字的人都可以担当这个“大任”了。周末的“饮茶”时间，半休闲半忙碌的坐在客厅的茶几旁和父亲聊了一聊，竟然发觉退休6年多的张校长也有上网写日记的打算。当然，我爸的文笔好过我千百倍，更不会好像他的后代一样无聊和东拉西扯，他只是想尝一尝做个网上作家的滋味，毕竟自己的书已有好几本，每天上网吐出几千个字可能有助于帮组饭后消化和防老人病来袭。

为什么会想在这里成立一个新的写作岗位，是因为我太闲了。从上个礼拜开始，我已经开始到处大吐苦水。
“我怎么那么有空？”朋友A的反应:晒命！
“我觉得我没有工作做可能就要辞职了。”朋友B的反应：明天去我家，帮我女佣一把。
“你觉得我要是再继续没工作做，会不会患上忧郁症？”老爸的反应：我看你是100%的工作狂。

除了那处在潮流最尖端的Facebook玩意儿以外，我真的空闲到......
这个月下午茶的次数多过我在这公司里3年的下午茶次数。
我可以搭公司的便车到另一个部门的茶室去喝下午茶。
吃完午饭后还有时间去银行、邮政局、书局......

你说，我的生活是不是很颓废？（颓：自己的身高又不见有增高的起色；废：做的事情没有对社会的人或地球上的一草一木有所贡献）。

读到这里，我觉得你一定是感觉到我像冰块一样，没有一点点对生活的狂热。
我也有对生活有所“憧憬”的一面。
这个月看了6本英文小说(另加有图文解说的孙子兵法），成立了我和小茉莉（哦，不好意思，应该是小绿叶）的“社论部落格”，给家里添了几样新电器，看了几部爱情片和两三部烂片。
好像没有了，可能还有关心现时国际低靡的经济，还有幻想被炒鱿鱼后拿了钱可以去上哪间大学。

写到这里，我想也是太多唉声叹气了。
其实我最近读了某人的英文部落格，有点又爱又恨，爱他的文笔恨我的不切实际。怎么人家可以“废”得很高雅，我却“废”到让人想掉头就走。

所以我最近身体发出的热能，不在于对生活的狂热了，而是不服气，不甘愿，不想妥协的热气。

如果想再进来观光，记得带灭火器和氧气桶，因为我的怨气可能让你窒息！